Episode 177 - Blaine Rindlisbacher, Making Marriages Happier
Since rescuing his own marriage, Blaine has become intensely passionate about what makes successful marriages work. These insights have driven him to study marital principles in the classics, complete a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy through Liberty University and finally to found Adore Your Spouse and make the 12 Principles of Happy Marriages available to others – so that they can also learn to adore their spouse
"They talk about first principles all the time and first principles are like a declaration, they are self-evident. Everybody knows that you're not supposed to kill somebody, everybody knows that, even a person that kills somebody, it is just self-evident. Everyone knows that if you earn something, if you buy something, if you have property, that no one should take it. [Principles] are very obvious and so that started educating us on what principles are, they are foundational laws." " My paradigm used to be, some people would say, "they're just lucky, they just happen to have a fabulous marriage, they don't even have to try." You will hear that from one couple out of 200 million couples, that never fought one time, they are yet to have an argument and they're in their 90's. But all the rest of us humans, it works a little differently and what happens is the more I've done this is, it's not just happenstance, it's actually almost like a conveyor belt. Meaning I stick people into the conveyor belt, and they go though the 12 principles, and they pop out a happy marriage. It's almost scientific at this point. I have yet to see a couple that live the 12 principles and not have a happy marriage. Every single time they say, "this isn't working." I said, "okay, well let's look at it" and we look at it and they are breaking some of these principles." "The paradigm change that I've had it is: when people live the principles, they get the results every time." "When I say it is scientific, you go through the 12 principles and it pops out a happy marriage. The problem with that is, someone starts going through the conveyor belt, then jump the wall and say, "this isn't working, I don't believe it." That is the harding part is actually believing that they [the principles] will work." "The number one thing I would tell men is, so often they don't know what's going on with their wives, they don't understand the pain they are in. So that would be my number one advice is to just really hear your wife." "The most important thing that I'd say women need to do, is meet their individual needs." He talked about needing daily exercise, spiritual, social and mental development. "The one thing I would encourage anybody to do...do something to help your marriage." "Just do something to make your marriage better because marriage hold our society together. Our children are more likely to get married when we are happily married. It is so critical, not just so we have happiness in our own lives, but our children see our examples. " "When marriages stay together, society is stronger, society is healthier, society is better. So please do something to help your marriage, whatever that is."